An incident from my day, in poorly written verse

Dear Admirer,

I did not think to see you again,
After our meeting outside the T.
But today we passed each other,
Going our separate ways,
Two strangers on Washington Street.

You paused to tell me
"You are so beautiful today."
Eyes averted,
I said "Thank you,"
And kept walking.

I am 90% certain
You are homeless.

Question the Second

Does the fact that I keep making my laptop switch to thesaurus on voice command so that I can giggle over how it can't say the word "synonym" correctly mean that I've gone round the twist?

Poor Jasper, I'm just so mean to you.

Question

This morning I fell asleep, again, after I should have already been up. Not altogether that unusual an occurrence. What was strange, however was that I had a very vivid dream about making my bed. Was that my brain's way of trying to fool me into believing I really had woken up or was my brain being passive aggressive and punishing me for oversleeping by giving me a mundane dream?

Love Story

It all began with humoring my roommate.

A few weeks ago we discovered that our ward has what is known as "Super Cute Sunday." As you might guess, this is supposed to be the Sunday that everyone dresses to the nines to impress the newbies. Normally I'd blow something like that off, but Roommate has been working hard to up my other roommate's and my's profiles so she decided we needed to embrace this ready-made opportunity with some new bling. And so we went accessories shopping. I was able to pick up some awesome props for my role in the Ward Campout's Musical Revue next weekend (I'm playing a Saved by the Bell character, 10 points if you can correctly guess who). Roommate also mentioned getting some new shoes because, let's face it, I've been going for comfort and utility, not style for many a year now. Long story short, too late, I popped into DSW after the gym on Saturday. That's when, as I was getting ready to go, our eyes locked over the aisles.
Naturally, I had to try them on. Wouldn't you know they fit great and they're mighty comfortable. Unfortunately, I can't think of any conceivable reason why I need to own these shoes, and, believe me, I've tried.

Sigh.

There is that birthday not too far off. What if I put them on my list? Size 9.5. Of course your next question may be "where would I wear them?" but that's something to think about during happily ever after.

Girl Baby Found

Does that headline make anyone else think of the jungle book? Man child, girl baby. . . Okay, maybe it's just me. Anyway, I finally cracked the Daily Enquirer. The secret is to just look yourself and not use the advanced search options. That dang technology getting in the way again. Enjoy the fruits of my labors! (Sorry I'm too lazy to give you a transcript today, you get to enjoy the 1890 newsprint/justification in its original appearance).

My favorite part?

Mrs. Singleton had some little trouble in understanding the mechanism on the bottle, but some of the married gentlemen on board kindly explained how the bottle was to be used.

Very nice of them. I also like how the baby is referred to as an "it" and "the little lady" in the same paragraph.

It seems as though our* grand-dame Hagar was quite the newspaper fixture. You can also read a complete account of her rather shocking divorce trial in an 1896 issue of Provo's Daily Enquirer. I bet she loved that the whole town could read and debate on whether or not she was actually married to her second husband, plural wife or no, or whether their children were illegitimate. At least she got the $35 alimony in the end (sorry for the spoiler, but its in the headline anyway). Oh, and our favorite train baby makes a brief appearance as well.

*By our I mean my (as well as those of my blood who read this here blog), sorry friends. You'll either have to marry into the family or find your own cool great-great-great grandmother

Take that Oscar Wilde

I was doing some research today and found the following article. Who said the internet was useless? (Oh yeah, that was probably me. Seriously, nobody wants to post online what University Avenue in Provo was called before the University?)

The Journal, Vol. XI, Logan City, Utah, Wednesday Morning August 31, 1892, No 70.

Disposing of a Babe
A Four-Day Old Infant Left on a Train From Logan

Yesterday morning as the Union Pacific train which reaches here at 9:10 a.m. arrived in Logan a small boy was seen to get aboard, having in his hand a box which he placed under a seat in the smoking compartment of the car. The lad was shortly afterwards seen to jump down from the rear of the train and leave the depot. Nothing was thought of the matter until Ogden was reached, when the lusty cry of a child was heard. Mrs. Hagar Singleton of Provo was a passenger on the train and had heard low sounds as of a child crying several times before, but thought the mother must be there and did not take much notice. Upon again hearing the sounds the lady went into the smoking room and found it empty, but happening to glance under the seat she espied a box. Just as she made the discovery the infant again began to wail and uncovering the box Mrs. Singleton found, wrapped in a pinning blanket and a Logan Journal, a four day old female babe, a nursing bottle and a bundle of clothes. There were no letters or anything to identify the child and Mrs. Singleton at once decided to adopt it. The lady left at ll:30 for her home at Provo.

The baby has fallen into the best of hands and its mother, whosoever she may be, can thank her Maker that her innocent offspring has found a home where it will be loved and receive a mother's care--Standard

***

The only clue to the perpetrator of this heartless deed that has been yet discovered, is the fact that a man and a little boy drove up to the depot on Saturday morning, and that they had a small box between them on the spring seat. The boy was observed to take the box and enter the train, returning shortly afterward empty handed.

This clue, slight as it is, may yet lead to the discovery of the woman who so basely deserted her offspring, and the paternity of the infant may also be discovered.

Anyway, here's proof at long last that my family hasn't been lying to me all these years. At least not about my great-grandmother being found on the train (there could be other things . . . )

What I love about this article, though are the word choices. A lusty cry, really? Espied? I'm telling you staff writer, no one espies. Not even Oscar Wilde espied, and he was gutsy. In any case, I'm glad I found this before I finished my story. I've got some details I've got to change!

(Subsequent to writing this post I found the original article which was posted in the Ogden Standard on Sunday August 28, 1892, meaning that Miss Startup was found on the train on Saturday August 27, 1892 (a mere two days after her birthday as it is listed on new.familysearch.org)

Fascinated

I can't not watch this video. I find it so mesmerizing. Is he really eating gold grapes (I mean no, he's not really eating gold, I know that). Did the writers purposefully have him use the wrong pronoun? Could you train a giraffe to give you kisses? Where can I get a mini giraffe?

So many questions. Enjoy.


I'm really going to go work on chapter nine now.